


"I'm Glad It's You."

by Katiebug445



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: M/M, canonverse, episode 38 missing scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-06
Updated: 2021-02-06
Packaged: 2021-03-17 23:35:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29233890
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katiebug445/pseuds/Katiebug445
Summary: Missing scene set after armin's assualt in episode 38
Relationships: Armin Arlert/Jean Kirstein
Kudos: 113





	"I'm Glad It's You."

He didn’t like this. He didn’t like how quickly Armin jumped up to volunteer for Historia’s body double after he himself was chosen - once again - for Eren’s. Jean took one look at the blonde, weighing his options on what he could say, who he could ask to come along instead, but he knew Armin would be perfect. He was near enough to Historia’s height, they had the same color eyes, and the blond boy was just feminine enough that it could actually work. 

Jean knew there weren’t a lot of options on who else could pull it off, and he hated that. 

The two boys were kept in the back of the group as they walked through town, neither saying anything in fear of blowing their cover, but Jean couldn’t help himself from stealing glances over at the boy beside him. Armin kept his eyes forward, his chin up and his face as blank as he could keep it. Jean figured he was trying to keep himself in the mindset that no matter what happened, they couldn’t fail. Their friends depended on them pulling this off. Armin looked so brave, walking on like that. It was something Jean wished he had more of in his own heart. Not this twisting mass of anxiety and fear over what was waiting for him. 

He forced his eyes away from his friend and kept his eyes focused on the others ahead of him, trying not to think and feed into the worries plaguing his mind. The rest of the group was pulling a little ahead, and Jean was just about to signal to Armin to speed up, when he heard the wagon coming up behind them. Bracing himself, Jean was lifted up and shoved down onto the wood bottom of the cart, and then his hands were bound. 

He glanced over at Armin, laying on his stomach beside him, and saw a readiness in his eyes. Jean had even more regrets now that their mission was underway than he did before. 

~~~

They were bound to chairs directly across from each other in the back of a warehouse. Armin kept his head down, staring at the skirt covering his legs, but Jean couldn’t do it. His eyes scanned over everything in the building three or four times before the door finally opened and in stepped one of their captors.

Armin finally lifted his head, weakly turning it to look towards the source of the noise, and Jean could just see his shoulders tense from the corner of his eye. One of the men stood there, light flooding in from the outside behind him as he stepped inside, closing the door with a rough  _ bang,  _ and pulled his lips back in a grotesque parody of a grin. The sight made Jean’s stomach roll as the man made his way towards them. 

The man eyed Armin hungrily, his grin growing wider the closer he got. Finally, he stopped in front of them, cutting off Jean’s view of the other boy for a moment before he slowly took those last few steps toward the blonde, roughly lifting his chin so he could look at his face. “You’re such a pretty thing.” He said, his dirty fingers lingering on Armin’s skin just a second too long. He slid around behind him and put his hands on Armin’s shoulders, causing the boy to squeeze his eyes shut for a second. 

Jean’s stomach rolled again, though he was unable to take his eyes away from what was happening, what this sicko was trying to pull here. His shoulders tensed and pulled against the bonds keeping his wrists tied. Jean strained against them, knowing it was no use to fight, but desperately wishing he could put a stop to this before it went any farther. 

The man’s hands slid from Armin’s shoulders, around to his chest, cupping at and squeezing at it as his face inched closer to the blond’s. “How does that feel, gorgeous?” He whispered, eliciting a cry from Armin. Jean could see tears forming in his friend’s eyes, and he pulled against his restraints again, anger surging through him as he watched the display. He could feel the ropes digging into his skin, but it didn’t matter much to him at the moment. 

“I can’t wait to hear your voice.” The man crooned, his face even closer to Armin’s now. The blond finally let his tears fall, and in a desperate moment, his eyes found Jean’s as their captor ran his hand over his chest again. The look on Armin’s face, the fear, the desperation, caused his stomach to roll again, and Jean finally had to look away. 

_ This is exactly why I didn’t want to do this shit again.  _ He thought to himself, still able to hear the terrified noises coming from Armin’s mouth.  _ Come on, Mikasa. Get us out of here before something happens.  _ He knew doing something himself would only get he and Armin hurt, or worse, and he didn’t want to be the cause of the mission’s failure, but if this kept up for much longer… 

He never wanted to see that look on Armin’s face ever again. 

  
  
  


Finally, with another sickening touch, the man walked away and started back for the door, leaving them alone for the moment. 

When the door was finally shut and he figured it was safe, Jean turned back to Armin, only to find the other boy’s head down once again, his shoulders shaking with quiet sobs. Jean exhaled, tears beginning to sting in his own eyes. He felt completely helpless like this, only able to watch while Armin tried to pull himself back together. He had no idea what to say to him to help even a little bit, and he obviously couldn’t do anything else at the moment. 

Armin sniffled, lifting his head just enough so he could wipe his nose on his shoulder, and Jean cleared his throat. “Armin, I’m so sorry.” He whispered, his voice tight. The other boy’s eyes found his for a brief second, and in them Jean could clearly see betrayal, and he knew it was aimed at him. He opened his mouth to say something else, but Armin just lowered his head again and continued to cry. 

_ He thinks you’re weak. You couldn’t even stand to look at him when he needed you.  _ Jean thought to himself, feeling the bile rise in his throat.  _ You’ve always been weak, and this proves it.  _ He swallowed, his eyes falling to the floor in disgust with himself, and he fell completely silent. Part of him wanted to speak another apology to the other boy, part of him wanted to try ripping out of his bonds on his own and put an arm around him, and part of him wanted to climb up on top of the wall and jump off. 

What good was he if he couldn’t offer comfort to his friend? 

There was a sudden scuffle outside, and both heads whipped up and turned towards the door, hearing the faint sound of shoes scuffing against the ground, and a heavy, panicked choking. Jean shot Armin a look, and then suddenly the doors swung open, and in stepped Mikasa, followed by Connie and Sasha. 

“Mikasa!” Armin called, relief clear in his voice. She and Sasha hurried over to them, untying their hands before getting into their positions. Jean let his shoulders drop, already cramped from the position they’d been in for so long, and had to fight the urge to run to Armin’s side right then. 

Seconds turned to minutes, which then turned to what felt like hours before the doors finally opened again and all of the kidnappers stepped inside. The men started forward again, confirming to each other that they had the right kids, but never got the chance to get close enough to double check. Like a bullet from a gun, Mikasa shot out of her hiding spot and took them all down in a flash, leaving them sprawled and groaning on the warehouse floor. 

Jean had always been drawn to watching Mikasa fight. She made even the most complicated moves look flawless as she cut through the men, a look of deadly rage shining in her gray eyes. Once they were incapacitated, she turned to them. “Now!” 

The boys shared a quick look, his eyes finding Armin’s small form beside him as they quickly made their way to the men on the ground, binding their hands behind them much as they had done earlier. Jean made sure to take care enough to dig his knee directly into the man under him’s kidney, not stopping pulling until he heard the man under him cry out in pain.  _ That’s for him,  _ he thought, adding even more pressure as he got to his feet. 

“Now we wait for the signal.” That was Connie. Jean looked up, seeing his friend crouched atop a pile of crates, looking out the window. 

Jean’s shoulders finally relaxed a little as he stepped back, taking in the faces of his friends and sending up a small prayer of thanks for them and their timing. He slid the wig off of his head and shoved it into his back pocket, taking a second to muss up his own just a bit in an attempt to get it to look normal. 

He spied Armin sitting against one of the crates back near the chairs they’d been tied to, his knees pulled up to his chest, and his head bowed. Casting one more look behind him at the others, Jean made his way over to the blond, hesitating for just a moment before taking a spot beside him and letting his head thump back against the wood. 

Neither of them said anything for a moment, but Jean could hear sniffling coming from the other boy. He counted to ten in his head and then sat up, pulling away from the crate just a little, and shifted his position so he could see Armin just a little better. “Armin,” he tried, reaching out a hand to him before thinking better of it and dropping it. “Are you okay?” 

Armin finally lifted his head just a little, his blue eyes swimming with tears, and shook his head. He looked so small sitting there, wrapped up in his own panic, that it broke Jean’s heart. He wasn’t used to seeing Armin like this; the other boy was always seemed so steady, so…  _ brave.  _ Seeing him like this shook Jean to his very core. 

He inched a little closer to the other boy until they were hip to hip. Armin flinched a little at the closeness at first, but soon leaned into Jean’s shoulder, his entire body shaking. Jean shut his eyes, trying to ignore the voices reminding him how pathetic he was, and let out a long breath. “I’m sorry.” he whispered, though he wasn’t sure what it was exactly he was apologizing for. There was so much to say, but he didn’t know the first bit about where to start or how to say it. He wanted to apologize for not fighting harder against him coming along, for not being able to prevent this, and for not even being able to face what happened to him. 

Finally, Armin relaxed a little and lifted his head, though he stayed pressed tightly into Jean’s side. Jean didn’t mind too much, though, and after another moment, wrapped his arm around Armin’s small frame in an attempt to comfort him. Much to his surprise, the other boy leaned further into the embrace. “It’s not your fault.” The blond said finally. “There wasn’t anything you could do.” 

_ There’s a lot I could have done,  _ Jean thought to himself, but he knew, if they wanted to make it out alive, that Armin was right. There  _ was  _ nothing he could have done to stop it without putting them both in more danger. “You shouldn’t have been involved in this.” He said. “I’m gonna have words with the Captain over this mess later.” 

Armin sniffled again and closed his eyes, feeling exhausted after his ordeal. “It needed to be done. At least it wasn’t Historia.” he replied.

“But it was  _ you.  _ And dammit, Armin, maybe it  _ wasn’t  _ her, but that doesn’t mean you deserve to go through this, either.” 

With a patient smile, Armin slid his own arm around Jean’s waist and closed his eyes. “Thanks for saying that.” He felt a little more secure with Jean that close, like he wasn’t completely alone in this. He didn’t feel as shaky as he had before, and he attributed that to the arm wrapped securely around his shoulders. He leaned in a little more against Jean and slipped his wig off. 

“Your hair’s kind of a mess.” Jean said, a little bit of amusement in his voice. Armin slid out from under Jean’s arm and reached up in an attempt to flatten it out, but the other boy stopped him. “Let me help.” he murmured, brushing his fingers through Armin’s hair to smooth it down. It was every bit as soft as Jean imagined it would be, even roughed up and tangled as it was. 

Jean gently combed through it, and it fell flat against Armin’s head. The blond had his eyes closed, content to let the taller boy work, and thanked him when he was done. 

The two sat in silence for awhile longer, neither knowing what to say and both a little afraid to break whatever spell was cast between them. Jean didn’t embrace the other boy again, but allowed Armin to stay leaned against him. 

After a bit longer, Jean felt the warmth of something cover his hand, and looked down to find Armin’s placed gently on top of his own. Smiling just a little, Jean flipped his hand over and squeezed the other boy’s reassuringly. The blond looked up, the tip of his nose pink with a blush, and squeezed back. “Thank you.” he whispered. “For staying with me.” 

For just a moment, the voices screaming everything at him stopped, and Jean’s eyes flickered to the others at the opposite end. Connie was still in position at the window, and Sasha still had her bow aimed at the men on the ground. Only Mikasa was watching them, her eyes gentle. Jean tried to pretend that he didn’t notice the look on her face, and instead turned his attention back to the boy beside him. “You needed someone.” he shrugged. “This was the least I could do.”

“Still,” Armin said quietly, “I’m glad it’s you.” 


End file.
